How To Annoy Bleach Characters
by Blood Rose Vampiress
Summary: Ways to annoy the Bleach characters.
1. Byakuya Kuchiki

Here are 30 ways to annoy Byakuya Kuchiki, AKA the cold, icy captain of the 6th division! However Byakuya may not like you annoying him and may go to violent measures to stop you. I will not take responsibility if this happens. You have been warned.

1. Tell Kenpachi he offered to babysit Yachiru

2. Switch his shampoo with pink hair dye

3. Lock him in a room with Gin for 24 hours

4. Tell him someone's trying to kill Rukia

5. Destroy his paperwork

6. Put sake in his drink

7. Take pictures of him being drunk

8. Put them up all over the Soul Society

9. Whenever you address him call him "Ice Prince"

10. Ask him how his date with Renji went

11. Cut down his sakura trees

12. Put gum in his hair

13. Whenever you see him start screaming that he'll freeze you with his coldness

14. Make him read RenjixByakuya fanfiction (Mine!)

15. Dress up like Hisana

16. Set him up on a blind date with Ichigo

17. Fire all his servants

18. Spill grape juice all over his scarf

19. Make Rukia tell him she's pregnant with Ichigo's child

20. Ask him why he has noodles in his hair

21. TP his manor

22. Make him dinner and tell him he's eating fish from his pond

23. Whenever you see him, throw sakura petals in the air and say "hey look, I'm Byakuya!"

24. Tell him Ichigo's taken his place as 6th division captain

15. Save his head while he's asleep

26. Ask him if nobles ever have to use the bathroom

27. Tell him there was a huge fire and his manor burned to the ground

28. Give him a pile of ashes to back this up

29. Tell everyone he's really a female and say he's proved it

30. Invite the whole Soul Society to a party in his manor


	2. Kenpachi Zaraki

**A/N:** Here's Kenpachi! I had some trouble coming up with things to annoy him, but at least I got some... next up will be Toshiro Hitsugaya, AKA The Chibi Taichou!

* * *

Here are 15 ways to annoy Kenpachi Zaraki, the most reckless captain in the Soul Society! Remember though that Kenpachi may not like you doing these things to him and you may end up smashed into a wall. I do not take responsibility if this happens.

**1.** Give Yachiru tons of candy so she bounces all around him

**2.** Tell him the Captain Commander said the paperwork that was due next week is actually due tomorrow… and it NEEDS to be legible!

**3.** When he's sleeping take all of the bells out of his hair and put flowers in instead

**4.** Tell Mayuri Kurotsuchi he's volunteered to be an experiment

**5.** Tell him Byakuya's stronger than he is

**6.** Send him a note telling him to meet you somewhere in the human world and don't give him directions on how to get there

**7.** Tell him Yachiru's gone on a date!

**8.** Laugh when he tries to hunt down every guy in Seireitei

**9.** Tell him he'd look so much better if his hair was like BYakuya's

**10.** Take him to a salon and make him get his nails done

**11.** Tell him Unohana's taking his place as 11th division captain and he has to be 4th division captain

**12.** Give him a hug

**13.** Tell everyone that he's giving out free piggy-back rides!

**14.** Call him names like Ken-chan and Ken-puu and Ken-booboo

**15.** Paint his eye patch rainbow!


	3. Soifon

_**How to Annoy Soifon**_

1. Tell her Yoruichi married Urahara.

2. Give her a bee costume and say it fits her better than her usual uniform.

3. Tell her Yoruichi's in the Soul Society and laugh as she runs all over looking for her.

4. Offer to make her dinner, and then give her a bowl of honey.

5. Say you thought that's what bees liked.

6. Walk right up to her, and when she opens her mouth to say something, say "no, I will NOT go out with you!"

7. Lock her in a room full of broccoli with Urahara.

8. Grab her hand and begin skipping, singing loudly at the top of your lungs.

9. Have a huge (and loud) party in her office, and charge the bills to her.

10. Put up signs all around the 2nd division saying "warning, hazardous to your health! Evacuate immediately!"

11. Tell Omaeda she's in love with him.

12. Put a "looking for" add for her in the newspaper and make sure everyone see.

13. Brush up against her and yell really loudly, "OW! I GOT STUNG!"

14. Tell her Omaeda fell through the office roof.

15. Laugh when she finds nothing.

16. Somehow make Omaeda fall through the office roof.

17. Give her a cactus and say you thought of her when you saw it.

18. Get the same exact haircut as her and then complain (very loudly) how the hairdresser totally ruined your life.

19. Put a stuffed, realistic-looking black cat on the other side of her door so when she opens it it goes flying.

20. When the cat's lying there, unmoving, start yelling that she killed Yoruichi.


	4. Toshiro Hitsugaya

**A/N:** I said I'd do Hitsugaya before but never did, sorry.

_**How to Annoy Toshiro Hitsugaya**_

Forgot to do your paperwork? Want to make him forget all about the sake party you had last night? Try using one of these ways to annoy Toshiro Hitsugaya, Soul Society's resident midget captain. Remember, I am not responsible for anything that happens when you do any of these things, so don't blame me if you get turned into an ice sculpture.

1. Complain to him that it's too hot and you need him to make it snow.

2. Complain to him that it's too cold and you need him to make it stop snowing.

3. Take him to Hawaii and force him to go to the beach every day.

4. Tell him his paperwork was due last week.

5. Accuse him of somehow making himself look young when he's obviously very old because of his white hair.

6. Tell him you're going to take him somewhere you know he really loves, then take him to a little kids circus.

7. Tell him the Soul Society's new official drink is sake.

8. Hand him a chicken nugget.

9. Tell Ukitake he really loves jelly beans.

10. When he's in the middle of doing paperwork, walk in and tell him it's nap time.

11. Redecorate his bedroom to look like a sunny beach.

12. Tell him he and Soi Fon should date because they're both midget captains. (Note: If Soi Fon hears this she may tear your head off.)

13. Turn the heater of whatever room he's in up to the hottest temperature possible.

14. Ask him if he'll melt if he stands in the sun.

15. Tell him he should be in school.

16. Hand him cans of soda and tell him you're using him as an ice cooler.


	5. Shunsui

_**How to Annoy Shunsui**_

Remember, I am not responsible for anything that happens if you try these. You do so at your own risk. If worse comes to worse, give him jelly beans.

1. Tell him sake is officially banned from the Soul Society.

2. Have all the girls tell him they'd rather date a baboon than him.

3. Give him tripple paperwork.

4. Give Nanao a vacation so he'll have to do all the paperwork himself.

5. Tell him the Shinigami Women's Society voted him least eligible suitor.

6. Give him a cabbage for his birthday.

7. Tell him Byakuya looks much better with flowers than he does.

8. Send him to an all boys school.

9. Take all his clothes out of his closet and replace them with black ones.

10. Place an order for 200 donkeys and give his name and address.

11. Put fish in his pocket and get a cat to follow him around.


	6. Grimmjow

**A/N:** I'm sorry that my chapters were becoming shorter, it's just been harder to come up with things to write. I'm also going to change this from just the Bleach captains to all the Bleach characters since I'm running out of things to say. Thanks for reading everyone!

_**How to Annoy Grimmjow**_

1. Put him within a 148 mile radius of Ulquiorra.

2. Ask when he's in heat.

3. Put catnip in his tea at one of the Espada meetings.

4. Tell him Aizen thinks he's very rapeable.

5. Photoshop him naked in a bed with Ulquiorra and post the pictures all around.

6. Stick your hand through his hollow hole.

7. Throw things through his hollow hole.

8. Follow him around asking, "Who's a good kitty?" in a baby voice.

9. Hand him a house cat and tell him you've found his mother.

10. Tell him Yammy thinks he's cute and wants to date him.

11. Put pictures of Ichigo, Ulquiorra, or Aizen (better yet, all three!) all over his room.

12. Mew at him.

13. Pull his tail when he's in resurrección form.

14. Tell him Aizen orders him and Ulquiorra to stay in a room alone together until they learn to get along. (Or better yet, have Aizen actually make them do this.)

15. Tell him you'll make him dinner. Serve him a bowl of milk. Or a mouse.


End file.
